The Office Birthday Party: the corporate world's very own Sartre play.
Oh my. This is so wonderful. I wish I had written this. Well, perhaps not every bit; some of it’s a bit needlessly vituperative. Still…
They had a birthday cake for some chick here at work today. There is no more absurd a tableau than a bunch of coworkers gathered around a cake groaning out a monotone “Happy Birthday” for some chick they either don’t know or detest. It happens at every place I work and it gets more terrifying each time. The Office Birthday Acknowledgment. It’s the corporate world’s very own Sartre play.
Go read the whole thing. I’m not totally sure how this got started, or why it continues in nearly every workspace. In some places, I’m sure, the Office Birthday Acknowledgement is a genuine get-together by a bunch of people who enjoy each other’s company. Most places, though, it carries the weight of a Mandate From On High. Thou shalt celebrate thy co-worker’s birthdays. And yea, thou shalt have fun, or at least Act Like It. I’m not against celebrating. For one thing, I like free food as much as the next person. But why the deep-seated need to have everyone (attempt to) sing? Why try and structure the celebration? It sucks any life, vitality, or joy out of the event. You can’t legislate common sense, and you can’t schedule fun. I was tempted to launch into a rendition of the Viking Birthday Song the other day, if only because I knew it would put real smiles on peoples’ faces. Just let us all gather about, grab the food, find out whose birthday it is, say “happy birthday” or “congrats” or whatever (or my brother’s favourite, the unobtrusive head-nod), and get on with our day. Please?
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