...and I feel fine
As I said in my introductory post for this month, one year ago I would not have been able to predict the changes that have come into my life. To wit:
Home: Last year, I was living in an apartment complex that was not super-posh, but was pretty cool. I had a patio and a dishwasher. Whenever I needed to go someplace, I jumped in the car, drove 5 minutes, and was pretty much where I needed to be. However, I knew that this was not a long-term solution. I had just moved from an annual lease to a month-to-month rental situation, and there were some early signs that things were going to get worse. The manager mentioned that no long-term leases were being renewed, that rents were being raised, and I halfway suspected that I’d be facing a ginormous rent increase in the months ahead…which would pretty much suck. Still, that’s life where I used to live: everything’s Too Fucking Expen$ive. (To be fair, most major metro areas are the same way.)
This year I’ve moved nearly 1,000 miles away. I’m in an older building, and there’s no dishwasher or disposal. The closets are smaller (I do kind of miss the walk-in closet. I know, I know, I’m shallow.) On the up side, though, I’ve got more square footage, more windows, and covered secure-access parking…and I’m paying less than I was in the old place. I can walk nearly everywhere — grocery store, drug store, post office, bank, some fast food places — so my waistline’s shrinking a little bit and I have more energy.
Job: This time last year, I’d just started working at a contract and I began to suspect that it would not be a smooth ride. I had very little to do, and honestly, after too many weeks of working one hour a day (tops) and getting paid for eight, I was feeling just a tad guilty. I wasn’t able to get anything else to do despite repeatedly reminding that I was sitting idle. (I know it wasn’t sexism — the boss did this to three male employees as well. Gee, surprise, by springtime all of us had quit in disgust.)
This year, I’m working from home, have two freelance gigs coming up, and am happily taking care of my business without having to worry about being monitored and possibly called on the carpet. (Hey - when I’m idle, I’m damn well going to entertain myself. And if it’s profitable for me, so much the better.) My bosses are pretty damn good. My co-workers are highly competent, self-possessed, and seem like really good people.
Family: Last year I lived less than one hour’s drive from the ‘rents, a sibling, an aunt and uncle, and a cousin and cousin-in-law. While this was not a gigantic trial or a life sentence, it had its moments.
This year I’m further away from my family…but that’s not a problem for me. This past Thanksgiving, I did not go anywhere. I did not do anything. I relaxed. It was wonderful. I had invitations from wonderful friends (and a friends’ family) to come celebrate the holiday with them if I chose; but they were also clear that if I chose not to, they would not take offense. I love my family, love spending time with them…but there are plenty of times when I honestly feel like I’d catch nineteen different kinds of passive-aggressive hell if I didn’t join them for Thanksgiving potluck every year, without fail. It gets kind of tiresome. The distance helps with that a bit, I think: there’s no longer the counter-argument that I’m only 45 minutes’ drive away, and it’s only once a year, just come over, please? (Someone else in the world got my levels of need-for-riotous-celebration. I suspect it’s the folks who eagerly scan every page of the Lillian Vernon catalogues and venerate Martha $t-eww-art.) I’ve had several good phone calls with my parents, and I’m already planning a trip back in July, when the next Batman and IndyJ movies are in theatres, so I can go see them with Dads.
Friends: I communicated with my friends via email, via phone, and the occasional visit or get-together. The closest friends I had, geographically, were former co-workers from a job we all hated with the passion of a million galaxies. We would irregularly get together for lunch, we’ve all given references for each other as we’ve moved to different positions, and we have (of course) Stories from Hell. But I didn’t really have anyone close whom I could go meet for coffee, or call up just to chat about my life and theirs. Everyone was far-flung distant. Now, I’m living closer to two good friends, and am slowly being
introduced to one of those friends’ fellow nutcases. It’s cool. I’ve still got several friends who are only within reach via plane trip (or email), but I’m close to people with whom I can just hang out.
Overall: I’m more content. I’m earning more, paying less, working smarter, in a physical place and geographical environment that makes me happier, and I feel like I’ve got more opportunities. Yeah, sure, more of them are opportunities to make a raging ass of myself or trip and fall on my face; but there’s something to be said for not playing it safe all the time.
Just like the last time I moved over 1,000 miles away from my family…I feel a bit more alive.
Keywords: | home | Holidailies | friends | family | community | choice |
Posted by Laughing Muse • 371 views • Share this link • Newer • Older
Click here to join