Really dumb marketing

It's not rocket surgery, people...

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Feb 16, 2007

Hello, I’d like to take a moment today to talk about how to be a drastically unwise marketer.

First, any time anyone puts a comment on your site, sign them up for your newsletter.
Second, send out this community letter announcing a neat new contest if people review your product, service, or community. Make sure to include editorial and SEO guidelines (aka: Be sure you use the words I’m Promoting This Thing at least a couple times in your review.)
Third, offer prizes for the “best reviews of this product, service, or community. Oh, wait, sorry, not prizes. Those are “1st price”, “2nd price”, and “3rd price”. An individual who apparently makes their living as a freelance writer misspelled the word “prize”.

Keywords: | rude people | marketing | idiocy |
Posted by Laughing Muse • 468 views • Share this link • Newer • Older

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Random Quote [??]

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

Mission Logs

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Dossier

Hosted by: The Living Media
Entries: 446 total; most recent on 09/20/2008 03:18 pm
Comments: 671 total; most recent on 04/30/2008 08:23 am
Citizens: 13 total; 0 logged in currently [join now!]
Former site names: The Akashic Record (1995-1998); Sirocco (1998-1999); The Cynic's Tea Party (1999-2005)

Clearance Levels

Infrared
Administration: All the data a citizen needs to know, as determined by the Computer. Trust the Computer.
Red
Daily Reports: Hi ho, the every-daycycle doings here in Alpha Complex!
Orange
Links: Other places the Computer deems useful, valuable, and / or nontreasonous.
Yellow
Humor: Amusement equals happiness, which is perfection. Laugh, citizen! (Or are you a mutant?!??)
Green
Reviews: Reviews of products and services. Increase productivity: use the Computer's opinions as your own!
Blue
Commentia: Various opinions on the events of Alpha Complex. And, y'know, the rest of the world.
Indigo
Writing: Articles and fiction written by this and other citizens.
Violet
Rantings: Reports from R&D. Or, quite likely, about R&D.
Ultraviolet
R&D Distribution: Tools for Troubleshooters.

Notes from All Over

Yay, progress!: 03 Mar 2008
In other news, I'm getting older. Damnit.
(Just) six bizarre things about me: 27 Feb 2008
Boy, was there competition for these slots.
Song to the Siren: 27 Feb 2008
Lyrics and playable track (embedded player)
Displacement trauma and retail therapy: 25 Feb 2008
At least that's what I keep telling myself.
恭喜發財 Happy 4706!: 07 Feb 2008
Don't forget to write the correct year on your checks.

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Really dumb marketing