Caffeine...mmm...

Feb 14, 2007

I'm playing around a bit behind the scenes, changing a few things here and there. Do folks listen to the weekly songs I usually post on late Wednesday/early Thursday? If people do listen to them, I'll keep posting new ones. If not, I'll just add them in the member jukebox.

T13 80:16: My Own Personal, Rather Subjective Review of Coffees

I like coffee. I like my coffee black, like the depths of my soul: no cream, no sugar. (There's a story behind this, and I'll tell you that another time.) Keep this in mind as you read through my list: while I do go to Starbuck's now and then, I drink coffee every single day and I don't add anything to it. I know that many people add all kinds of stuff to their coffee, so that pretty soon they're having a glass of sugar and milk with a dash of caffeine. I am pretty much on the opposite end of that scale. I also tend to prefer unflavored coffees, though a few are on my regular list.

Here's a little note to head some folks off at the pass: I didn't profile "arabica" coffee because arabica is a type of bean. Saying "coffee - now with arabica beans!" is like the early 1990s web designers who advertised "web design - now with links!"

1. Any kind of coffee that comes in a single serving bag — oh, the horror! It has no style. It has no panache. It has no -=flavor=-. This is less thrilling than actual instant coffee, and should only be used in dire circumstances. (I know. I've had to have both types, when things were dark. Events, that is...not the coffee.)
2. Any coffee in a bulk can (Yuban, MJB, et cetera) — not all that good for drinking, but will provide the necessary caffeine buzz. Also good for feeding to roses or scenting your rug. (Dump the can, wait 30 minutes, vacuum up the grounds)
3. Sumatran — dark, medium/medium-light flavor. Often described as "earthy". This is because it tastes vaguely like dirt.
4. Kona — Medium flavor, good color, decent aroma. Can make a good base for adding flavored syrups, if you want to taste the syrups as much as the coffee. The Garfield of coffees: it's around all over the place, it's offensive to no one, and it sells well. I have yet to taste kona coffee that really, truly knocks my socks off; though one particular brand of Kona coffee outstrips the others I've tried (and as soon as I can remember the brand name, I'll post it.)
5. Celebes Kalossi / Sulawesi — medium-strong flavor with a very faint underlying sweetness. A friend of mine must have a little coffee with his morning sugar — he loves the smell of coffee but not the taste — and he actually drank a cup of this without any cream, sugar, or anything.
6. Italian roast — very dark color, very strong aroma, tastes nearly burnt. As it should: the beans are roasted for quite a long time to get this "burnt" quality. Don't ask me why. (Possibly coffee became diluted as it headed further north. Certainly, Greek or Turkish coffee will strip the chrome right out of the mountainside. I admit, I am not daring enough to try straight qawhi. I might need to cut it by adding some water...which would probably make the brewer laugh, weep, or roll their eyes far enough back to give themself a concussion.)
7. Colombian — another staple which has not left a strong impression with me. I have not drunk too much straight "Colombian" coffee, but I also haven't tasted any Colombian coffee that made me grimace in disgust (except perhaps Yuban, which I suspect of using hulls and floor-leavings to stretch their product further) or take a quick side trip to the Happy Caffeinated Place.
8. Irish Creme — I said I don't really drink flavored coffees, and that's true. Irish creme is one of the few exceptions to this. It smells wonderful, and tastes good — though if you need a bit of sugar to drink any coffee, you'll still need to add something to Irish creme. Irish creme is one of the few coffees that, when packaged in pods or single-serving pouches, still tastes halfway acceptable.
9. Spiced buttered rum — another flavored coffee I just had to try. Rich, buttery, a good aroma, and a nice bite.
10. Jamaican Blue Mountain — this has long been touted as an absolutely amazing coffee. It's *very* good coffee, but I won't call it the end-all be-all of the coffee experience. I actually prefer Celebes Kalossi, and Celebes Kalossi costs less.
11. Hazelnut — this is a bit too bitter for me. The few times I've been able to successfully drink and enjoy hazelnut coffee was when I *ghasp* added eggnog.
12. Decaffeinated — I list this specifically because while many people will call it a variant of coffee, this is not real coffee. While some decaffeinated coffees have a wonderful aroma, and some can taste nearly as good as the real thing...it's just not real. Decaffeinated coffee is the dildo of coffees: when you're in the mood it leaves you vaguely unsatisfied, and when you're hard up and desperate, it only blunts the edge. (Does anyone but me think that Decaffeinated Dildos could be the name of a garage band? ...just me? Okay. Just checking.)
13. Kopi Luwak — I will not touch this on a bet. Starting at around USD$75 per half pound and going as high as USD$500/lb, this coffee is incredibly expensive. It is billed as being incredibly flavorful, smooth, mellow, and wonderfully piquant. It also gets this flavoring from the digestive tract of a civet cat. That's right: Kopi Luwak is cat shit coffee. I'm a zealous caffeine addict; but there are just some lines I will not cross.

Other Participants

• Di's Book Blog with "nostalgia" points from childhood. Who else remembers getting a buzz off the ditto machines?
• The Journey of Cross and Quill with things about the love of her life, her husband
• Jon Tillman with lessons he's learned this past year
• Fond of Snape with things she loves, which begin with 'A'
• Chicken-Scratch with her favorite movies
• History is Elementary shows us the lovely ring that her husband gave her for Valentine's Day
• 23 seconds to circulate with bizarre, ridiculous analogies...pulled from high school essays
• Finding Your Path with things -=NOT=- to get your sweetie for Valentine's Day
• Beaumont the Blue asking which is our favorite of her T13s - this is her thirteenth round
• Tumbled Words with skills she'd like to learn
• Heather Rae Scott with reasons why she loves her husband
• 3M Chat with books - from different decades - that she wants to read
• Life is RANTastic giving up the love for her Mac
• Writing Aspirations with reasons she loves blogging
• Cozy Reader with things she'll never do
• West of Mars with more trivia about a character in the book she's writing
• simple pleasures with ways to show love
• Around the Island with tunes from Grateful Dead
• Philly Transplant with the OCD edition
• For the Fun Of It with favorite movies, plus a quote from each
• The Mis-Adventures of Captain Poopy with her sister's strength
• the screaming pages with reasons why she loves her husband
• Ryan Velting with reasons why women are better than dogs
• Pentimento with things that make them crabby
• Green SAHM with ways she's acting more environmentally responsible
• A Virtual Hobby Store and Coffee Shop with random tidbits
• My twenty cents keeps moving! with some absolutely horrid Valentine's ideas

Keywords: | Thursday | memes | coffee |
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