My first go at this interview-meme

Dec 24, 2001

This post will be a bit hurried; but I’ll clean it up later. It’s my first round of Blogger Insider. The questions were posed by Lee, who got my questions and answered them.

1. I adore the name Laughing Muse. How did that come about? Have you ever used or considered using your real name on the web instead?
When I first went online, I used the name of a science fiction character that I rather liked. Over the years, though, people kept either asking me what it was or making the usual disparaging comments about the show (which, let’s be fair, sucked like a herd of Hoovers.) I also got involved in the fandom of a short-lived science fiction series, and when the show was cancelled and the fandom began to seriously fragment, stupid me kept my cool and took a visible role, trying to help folks get organised to stay in touch. People soon started using my name like currency on the various mailing lists. I really hated that. (I eventually sent email to the lists telling them that I was not Jesus Christ, and would they stop taking my name in vain. Extreme, but it worked.) I had once read about a note that someone had anonymously left on the windshield of someone’s car. The note was short — something about the recipient showing the world light and laughter — and was signed “Love, the dancing muse”. I didn’t like “dancing muse”, but “Laughing Muse” sounded good, so I took it as my new online name.

Using a pseudonym online gives me some freedoms. I can write about whatever I want, and don’t have to worry about fallout. Basically, I have some relatives whom I love dearly and who are good people, but if they ever found out that I was writing about sex, drugs, politics that don’t match up with their own, and a theosophical viewpoint that doesn’t match up with their own, there could be trouble (most notably flack from relatives directed at my parents, who can’t control how I think or what I write, but don’t deserve any sniping for the opinions I hold.) I could justify my decision to remain anonymous a few ways — like a fictional character in a story, the events that I rant about can be more easily identified with by my readers, whereas when reading about a real person any events or problems pretty much remain the property of that person — but realistically, it’s protection for myself and my family. I have used my real name in professional and semiprofessional projects online, and the truly determined could probably identify me based on similarities in writing, design, or coding styles…but most people have better things to do.

At least, I fervently hope so.

2. The tagline for your site is &;dquo;Come rant, you’ll feel so much better”. You have quite a few (and great) rants on your site. Do you rant often in real life or do you limit most of it to your site? How often do you get results from a good rant?
Properly done, a rant can help a person relieve stress and help them think about how to solve their problem. I learned how to rant properly from my father: rant and rave, then sit back and unemotionally identify exactly why you needed to rant. Then (again, unemotionally) figure out how to change: change yourself, change your surroundings, or sometimes just accept that there’s not much you can do and go on with your life. A good rant is a steam valve: releasing the steam won’t make the source of stress go away, but it will give you time to step back and figure out how to solve the problem. I rant a bit in real life, but most times when I rant, I write it down. It helps me think. Also, by sharing my thought processes, I hope to help other people think. I’ve read some essays on web sites that helped me think about why I take certain actions (large or small), or hold certain viewpoints; and even if I don’t end up agreeing with the author(s), they gave me something to think about.

3. Do you generate much email due to your site? If you’ve ever received hate mail due to something you?ve written, how do you go about handling it?
I don’t post my email address on my site, just a link to a contact form. I do this to stymie spambots, but this also seems to keep people from flaming me. The number of people who send feedback to webmasters has dropped sharply since the early days of the web (former USENET participant here: I know whereof I speak), so if anyone gets fired up enough to send me hate mail, I must have really touched a nerve of some sort. In some ways, that’s bad: either I have no readers who get any value from my site, or I’ve really pissed someone off. In other ways, that’s good: I’ve really gotten their attention, maybe made them think. I respond to any and all hate-mail or -posts the same way: that my opinions are my opinions only and not meant to tell anyone else how to think, that everyone should have their own opinions; while I respect their opinion and viewpoint (maybe even agree with parts of it) I will not change my opinion just because someone else thinks that I’m wrong, or stupid, or an idiot; and that I wish them the best in life. If I get a reply to my response that tries to get me involved in a flame war, I’ll reply a second time that everyone has a right to their opinion and that we don’t seem to agree on this issue. Third responses are met with blocking their email at my server, so that it never reaches me. Keeping a cool head is really important — but so is stopping what amounts to verbal abuse and baiting. I have a separate email account that I use for replying to hate mail, and can actually delete the account if someone starts spamming me. Any webmaster can also always go to their state or federal authorities if someone becomes a problem. I’ve only ever had to block someone’s email account once, though. Most of the hate mail I?ve gotten has been rather mild, and when the person gets my response and sees that I’m not trying to tell people how to think, they usually leave it at that. Once I got into a rather good, lengthy exchange of opinions with a staunch anti-abortionist. We both kept it civilised, and while neither of us changed our viewpoint, I think we both came away with more respect for the so-called “other side” of the debate.

I also do spend 10-15 minutes inventively cursing the authors of some of the more crack-brained emails I receive…but slamming their probable ancestry doesn’t do anything productive, it would only give them more ammunition. I’ve come up with some inventive ones over the years, though.

4. Where do you see yourself five years from now? Do you think you?ll still be the Laughing Muse and Cynic’s Tea Party will be even larger? Or do you think you’ll eventually move on to something else and delete all your writing?
I’ve been the Laughing Muse for nearly a decade now, so I don’t think that will change. My site has gone through three phases since 1994 when I created my first personal site, and will probably continue to evolve, though this format works well for me. I still have content on the CTP that was in my original site. I’ll probably be using a zine format for at least another year. I try not to predict my behaviour beyond six months because my crystal ball is in the shop, and I can’t be properly Delphic without it. Inhaling vapours just makes me woozy. And I’ve never put much stock in tea leaves. Is it possible to do divination on the pattern of the coffee grounds in the filter?

5. I read that you don’t want children and are currently single? I’d like to say that I admire you for knowing what you want (and don’t want) and not letting others persuade you differently. Do you think that if ”Mr. Right” came along and wanted children, you would change your mind?
I live by two mottos: anything is possible, and ask the next question. If I met someone that truly could be a partner to me — someone from which the bullshit would not flow, someone who would support me and let me support him in turn, all that stuff — and he -=really=- wanted children, we would definitely discuss the issue. I might change my mind. Maybe. Hey, if someone had told me in 1994 that I’d move to a different country in five years, I would have wondered what recreational pharmaceuticals they had been sampling.

But my mom shouldn’t hold her breath for grandchildren. Cyanotic just isn’t her color.

6. How do you feel about relationships formed via the web? Is it something you’ve ever done/considered?
It depends on the type of relationships. Friendships, yes. I’ve currently got more @-friends than RL-friends. Love matches? Possible, but not always probable. It depends on the maturity level of both parties, and how honest they are with themselves and with each other. Sexual relationships? Big Fat No, don’t go there, don’t be that person. One of my @-friends started an affair with a married man, and she’s married as well. She’s talked to me about what drew her to the relationship, and (quelle surprise) she’s got emotional issues bigger than the entire Northwest Territories. I haven’t outright told her what I think of her behaviour — partially because I keep hoping that she’ll start thinking about what I do ask her, and partially because I don’t think she’d listen to me anyway — but people act as if they think that if the person is several hundred (or a few thousand) miles away, they can have their little flings and it won’t matter: either because they think that their partner won’t find out, or they somehow don’t think of their flings as being something that they do with other people. They somehow seem to think that the other person is a toy. Ick.

It will be interesting to see how these online relationships change social dynamics, and how the people who take part in them develop emotionally.

More..!

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It's not even an interesting shade of mauve. False advertising!

Dec 24, 2001

So. Let’s talk for just a minute about Windows XP. It didn’t save the galaxy. It seems not to be vital to the survival of the rebellion. It didn’t even get any satellite coverage from NASA.

Windows XP won’t guarantee you a long and healthy life. It won’t get you out of debt. It won’t cure world hunger. It won’t suddenly make that delightful person, over whom you’ve been fantasising for the past several years, realise that you are the most scruptious morsel on the planet — which would lead to them doing all kinds of things for you, or more to the point to you. Hell, it won’t necessarily even make you more productive (which is the reason to use computers and the software which runs upon them).

With all that hot air coming out of Redmond, you’d think northwestern Washington state would have had warmer weather these past few weeks.

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Aromatherapy candles plus cabin fever. Whee...

Dec 15, 2001

I’ve not been updating as often this month. I could smudge the truth a little, and say it’s recovery from NaNoWriMo last month. I could smudge the truth a LOT, and say that my gift shopping is eating up all my time. (I’m perhaps a little over-organised: I got all my shopping done somewhere around August.) It’s a combination of a lot of things: taking a month off to just relax, doing a periodic inventory of my life in general (much easier to deal with when done in small doses), planning out content, thinking and writing, having the odd bit of fun, and dealing with cabin fever.

Y’see, the Stormy Season has hit with a vengeance. Rain 20 hours out of every 24. Winds clocked at 80km/hr, gusting up to 100km/hr.

My normal routine has been thrown out of whack. I like rain just fine…but true pouring rain makes my daily walks, part of which uses unpaved trails, a bit more accident-prone than I like. I’ve been stuck indoors for four days now, and I’m starting to go somewhat bugfuck. Yes, I’m a computer person, but while I don’t have the Home Gymnasium from Hell or go to a fitness club, I’m not sedentary. I go on hour-long walks (halfway between a power walk and a hike) almost every day. I need to do this, or I either sink into lethargy or start to get rabbitty. (If I’m really lucky, I do first one, then the other…truly a joy and a bliss.) I’ve got ideas chasing themselves around in my head, running in circles and completely wasting themselves before I can write them down. So today I tried structuring my surroundings a little. I did some tai chi, took an extra-long shower, drank some tea (no coffee), had a purposefully slow breakfast. The plan was to light some candles (I find them soothing), turn on a CD, read for a while, then fire up the computer and see how many ideas I could commit to data before my brain vapourlocked. It was a good plan. It was a nice plan. It was a plan that had proper table manners.

Problem is, the candle that I lit was a scented candle, a gift from my downstairs neighbour. It was peppermint-scented. Peppermint, for those not familiar with aromatherapy, is a stimulating, envigorating scent.

Okay, so pitch that “soothing” adjective from the scenario…and now I’m almost as twitchy as if I’d drunk four cups of coffee.

And it’s still pouring outside.

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Blogger Insider was a fairly good mixer-meme...so of course it had to die.

Dec 14, 2001

...for one thing, the Blogger Insider project won’t ever throw feces at you.

Seriously, it sounds like fun. Sign up, interview another blogger every two weeks. Be as inventive as possible. Use a No. 2 keyboard, fill in all circles completely.

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