No convictions, though, your honor
Dec 09, 2007
Stolen from See Hear Speak No Evil: items in bold are things that I’ve done.
Which story do you want to hear?
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking (my best step is the West Coast Spastic)
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment (regularly, actually. It doesn’t take too much — just stop for a few minutes and think about the good things that have happened to you recently — but apparently people don’t do this often enough.)
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends (some of them actually contributed to item 38.)
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs (what? Isn’t this the default storage method? If not...how did you find anything?!??)
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theatre (I remember seeing Grease at a drive-in, back in the 70s...and I saw Dark Crystal at a drive-in, as well.)
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business (...and still going after five years! Yay me.)
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight (do you get bonus points if you GM’ed a 12-hour campaign?)
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days (do popsicles count as food? If not, then yeah, I’ve done this. And it was miserable.)
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on a television news program as an “expert”
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage (not since grade 4...thank goodness)
85. Been to Las Vegas (and stayed in the hotel where Elvis first performed)
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently (not any more, sadly. Languages are definitely a “use it or lose it” thing.)
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours (actually, I’m not too sure about this one...I got hit with a depressive skid once, and about all I can remember is my housemate trying to wake me up...before giving up and letting me sleep. It apparently freaked the hell out of him, and he said that if I hadn’t come out of my room when I did [two days later], he was calling emergency services.)
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school (I never really leave...I keep finding classes that I want to take, and off to the nearest community college I go.)
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions (I’ve moved on with my life, and I keep in touch with those few school friends I want to. So why go back there?)
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life
Keywords: | vacation | memes | Holidailies | friends |
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Putting the 'dis' in 'dysfunctional"
Dec 08, 2007
Last night I went to see my friend in a performance of “The Lion in Winter”. It was funny as hell. It’s about as based on actual events as the film adaptation of Lawnmower Man is based on Stephen King’s short story of the same name; but it’s still funny as hell. King Henry II and his wife Eleanor of Acquitaine spent Christmas with their three sons. And Henry’s current mistress (this is Henry II - sooner or later, there will be a mistress). Oh, and did I mention that Eleanor was let out of prison for the holidays? Other than that, it’s fairly standard fare: kids come home for the holidays, family resentments brew, much pissing and bitching commences. Some of the best lines:
Henry: Shall we hang the holly, or each other?
Eleanor: We all have knives! It’s 1183!!
Geoffrey (to John): If you’re a prince, there’s hope for every ape in Africa!!
John: I went up in flames, there’s not a living soul who’d pee on me to put the fire out!
Richard: Let’s strike a flint and see…
The performers playing Henry and Eleanor did a spectacular job. Now I kind of want to see the 1968 movie, with Katherine Hepburn as Eleanor and Peter O’Toole as Henry.
This does put my own memories of less-than-fond family gatherings into perspective. I’ll have to put this DVD on my shelf next to Home for the Holidays.
Keywords: | Holidailies | family |
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...and I feel fine
Dec 07, 2007
As I said in my introductory post for this month, one year ago I would not have been able to predict the changes that have come into my life. To wit:
Home: Last year, I was living in an apartment complex that was not super-posh, but was pretty cool. I had a patio and a dishwasher. Whenever I needed to go someplace, I jumped in the car, drove 5 minutes, and was pretty much where I needed to be. However, I knew that this was not a long-term solution. I had just moved from an annual lease to a month-to-month rental situation, and there were some early signs that things were going to get worse. The manager mentioned that no long-term leases were being renewed, that rents were being raised, and I halfway suspected that I’d be facing a ginormous rent increase in the months ahead...which would pretty much suck. Still, that’s life where I used to live: everything’s Too Fucking Expen$ive. (To be fair, most major metro areas are the same way.)
This year I’ve moved nearly 1,000 miles away. I’m in an older building, and there’s no dishwasher or disposal. The closets are smaller (I do kind of miss the walk-in closet. I know, I know, I’m shallow.) On the up side, though, I’ve got more square footage, more windows, and covered secure-access parking...and I’m paying less than I was in the old place. I can walk nearly everywhere — grocery store, drug store, post office, bank, some fast food places — so my waistline’s shrinking a little bit and I have more energy.
Job: This time last year, I’d just started working at a contract and I began to suspect that it would not be a smooth ride. I had very little to do, and honestly, after too many weeks of working one hour a day (tops) and getting paid for eight, I was feeling just a tad guilty. I wasn’t able to get anything else to do despite repeatedly reminding that I was sitting idle. (I know it wasn’t sexism — the boss did this to three male employees as well. Gee, surprise, by springtime all of us had quit in disgust.)
This year, I’m working from home, have two freelance gigs coming up, and am happily taking care of my business without having to worry about being monitored and possibly called on the carpet. (Hey - when I’m idle, I’m damn well going to entertain myself. And if it’s profitable for me, so much the better.) My bosses are pretty damn good. My co-workers are highly competent, self-possessed, and seem like really good people.
Family: Last year I lived less than one hour’s drive from the ‘rents, a sibling, an aunt and uncle, and a cousin and cousin-in-law. While this was not a gigantic trial or a life sentence, it had its moments.
This year I’m further away from my family...but that’s not a problem for me. This past Thanksgiving, I did not go anywhere. I did not do anything. I relaxed. It was wonderful. I had invitations from wonderful friends (and a friends’ family) to come celebrate the holiday with them if I chose; but they were also clear that if I chose not to, they would not take offense. I love my family, love spending time with them...but there are plenty of times when I honestly feel like I’d catch nineteen different kinds of passive-aggressive hell if I didn’t join them for Thanksgiving potluck every year, without fail. It gets kind of tiresome. The distance helps with that a bit, I think: there’s no longer the counter-argument that I’m only 45 minutes’ drive away, and it’s only once a year, just come over, please? (Someone else in the world got my levels of need-for-riotous-celebration. I suspect it’s the folks who eagerly scan every page of the Lillian Vernon catalogues and venerate Martha $t-eww-art.) I’ve had several good phone calls with my parents, and I’m already planning a trip back in July, when the next Batman and IndyJ movies are in theatres, so I can go see them with Dads.
Friends: I communicated with my friends via email, via phone, and the occasional visit or get-together. The closest friends I had, geographically, were former co-workers from a job we all hated with the passion of a million galaxies. We would irregularly get together for lunch, we’ve all given references for each other as we’ve moved to different positions, and we have (of course) Stories from Hell. But I didn’t really have anyone close whom I could go meet for coffee, or call up just to chat about my life and theirs. Everyone was far-flung distant. Now, I’m living closer to two good friends, and am slowly being forced uponintroduced to one of those friends’ fellow nutcases. It’s cool. I’ve still got several friends who are only within reach via plane trip (or email), but I’m close to people with whom I can just hang out.
Overall: I’m more content. I’m earning more, paying less, working smarter, in a physical place and geographical environment that makes me happier, and I feel like I’ve got more opportunities. Yeah, sure, more of them are opportunities to make a raging ass of myself or trip and fall on my face; but there’s something to be said for not playing it safe all the time.
Just like the last time I moved over 1,000 miles away from my family...I feel a bit more alive.
Keywords: | home | Holidailies | friends | family | community | choice |
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...or whatever they're calling it now.
Dec 04, 2007
I am a grown person. I have a bank account, checkbook, credit card, all that crap. I own a car. I pay my taxes. (I don't help my landlady with her garbage.) My personal weakness is writing instruments: pens, markers, gel pens, glitter pens, metallic inks, rich jeweltoned pigments with or without embellishment. Adults are quite able to buy pens — even colored pens — and no one thinks a thing of it. But just let an adult step up to the register with a box of crayons and people will wonder which child will be receiving them, and what for (birthday? completing their chores? eating their vegetables? an improved report card? what?)
Damn you, people, those are MY crayons!!!
I've always loved coloring. I'm not talking your standard children's coloring books, with houses and kids playing and toy balls and twee pet animals. No. The more simplistic, the less interested I was. When I was about 7, an aunt and uncle gave me Altair Designs and a set of markers for my birthday, and I was over the moon. Altair Designs weren't merely intricate, they were abstract - utterly abstract, geometric designs. Sure, I could have 'found' regular figures like monkeys and trees and so forth. I preferred to pick out other patterns. I'd spend hours meditating on what patterns to bring to the fore, what colors to use, how to elaborate on the design I'd started the previous day. A few years later I received some other coloring books — now utterly lost to history, I don't even remember the titles — with fanciful designs of alien landscapes, Escheresque patterns of stylized dragonflies or overlapping octopods, and utterly odd, off-the-wall drawings that, when colored, would either send psychoanalysts into fits of fearful twitching or given a psychology student a fairly good dissertation topic.
Coloring remains my favorite meditation-relaxation technique. It lets me be still; it keeps me thinking; it engages enough of my imagination-brain to keep me from being bored but not enough to make me feel distracted, overwhelmed, or busy; it lets me work through whatever issues I have lingering in my subconscious; and sometimes I come up with extremely cool things. I prefer markers (Pentel, set of 36) because of the smooth delivery and even distribution of pigments...but some times, crayons are the best tools to use. I own several boxes: one of 120, and two of 96. I managed to get some sets before Crayola went on the renaming binges of the 1990s, so I actually own crayons with the following names (now of hallowed memory):
- burnt sienna
- raw umber
- brick red (okay, I give up...why'd they change this color's name?!??)
- blue grey
- mulberry
- thistle
- violet blue
I think that some of the 'new color names' are just too faddish, abstracted, or twee. Mauvelous? Razzmatazz? They sound like rejected nicknames for Mouseketeers. Is 'tumbleweed' a dry, dead tannish, or slightly yellow-white? Tickle Me Pink? That one's straight out of Crayolas: the Porno Edition. These color names do not belong in any box I will ever own. They are Plain D. Wrong.
I tend to color while sitting in my living room, the paper on my lap desk and the markers beside me. I'll sometimes go outside, though, if there's a park close by. Once I tried coloring at a coffee shop, but got too many odd stares from other adults on their way to work (and one slightly jealous glance from a girl of 10 or 11 who, apparently, didn't read the subclause stating that coloring is never, ever not cool.) If you ever spot me sitting and coloring, feel free to pull up a chair and join me. It's a great way to relax, I don't criticize anyone's coloring technique or chosen medium, and there's no lines or traffic.
Just don't break any of my crayons.
Keywords: | Holidailies | habits | colors |
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Gingerbread, far too much sugar, and theatre people. Let the oddness commence!!
Dec 03, 2007
The weekend’s snow turned into rain, and there’s now a great huge puddle outside the back door. I expect some ducks will take up residence at any moment, blown off course from Lake Washington.
The gingerbread party was small because of the snow. When that much snow hits (and it was an unusually heavy snowfall, especially for the first of the season), roads close...and since the house was at the bottom of a hill, lots of people cancelled. I walked the 15 blocks and discovered that while my shoes may have been just fine for more southerly latitudes, they won’t cut it up here in winter. (Because that’s just what I need, another expense.) We had fun, though: the gingerbread house was on fire, had an occult face on the roof, and was attended by E.T. and his spaceship, Dorie and the clownfish from Finding Nemo, someone/thing kung-fu fighting, a beaten thug-face, and Cthulhu Pride (a multicolored cookie that may have been something else, but looked a bit cephalopod-ish - so we had our Great Auld One, even if He was kitted out in a slightly-less-than-dignified manner. (Next year, possibly a throwdown deathmatch between the cephalopod and the FSM. Not on Fox [because they suck]) We also sat around and watched the final two episodes of Project Runway, and verbally eviscerated this and that entry by the finalists. One outfit looked like Sailor-Senshi-meets-LL-Bean. It was...odd. Then, because we were acting far too mature, we put in the Rankin Bass specials and sniggered through things like “a kiss a toy is the price you pay” (apparently that song got the special pulled from TV for a few years) or “riding a Vixen the wrong way” (wait - allude to child molestation get censored, but the bestiality stays? Waytago, there...)
Keep in mind that all of this talk was in front of a very bright, somewhat bored 9 or 10 year old girl. Yes, we’re responsible adults, taking care what we put forth onto impressionable young minds.
...and I almost got that out without laughing…
Interesting posts from other Holidailies sites:
It’s all about the babies
Star Wars
Worst Prompts Ever
Keywords: | pop culture | Holidailies | friends |
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Ladies and gentlemen, we have snow.
Dec 01, 2007
It started snowing...oh, about 40 minutes ago. It wasn’t accumulating. I walked to the post office, walked to the grocery store...and by the time I got done in there, the snow was actually not melting the instant it hit the ground. Enough had accumulated to start a blanket of white. I have snapped photos, shown the cats, and caught some on my tongue. And giggled like a fruitbat.
I know that, eventually, I will become inured and will react properly to snowfall: I will be mildly annoyed, worried about snow closures on the many roads (I live at the bottom of a hill, so any trips I need to make headed west will have to be on foot - no driving on those hills), and will be grousing. Now, though, I’m far too caught up in the glee and gigglefits. I’m surely pissing off the natives something terrible.
A Sudanese child would probably react like this to regular spring rain in Northern California, and everyone would either 1) think the child was deficient; 2) start placing bets on when the child would do something very silly like wander into puddles and stand there; or c) shake their heads and crash into a telephone pole (because they weren’t paying attention to the road).
And now, I’m off to go build a demented gingerbread house. Wish me luck!!
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